This past June, my wife left her job of 7 years and became a stay at home mom. This is the first time in her adult life that she has not worked outside of the home. She does some light consulting on the side which pays tuition for our 2 oldest kids to attend parochial school, but she primarily does all the wonderful and not so wonderful things that a stay at home mom does. In addition to the 2 school age children, we have a 2-1/2 year old son.
For several years now, I've coached my daughter's soccer team each fall. My best friend's daughter is a year older than mine, so every other year our daughters are in the same age division and we coach together. Those are great years because my wife and I get along with the parents a grade up better than we do with the parents of our own grade.
The mother's of my daughters friends are basically bitches to my wife. I never thought much about it until this past soccer season when my wife relayed to me a number of comments made by these bitches to her. These women don't seem to have an issue with me or else they don't have the guts to say anything. I suspect its the later - I am no where near as nice and kind as my wife. If, for example, one of them made a rude comment to me, I'd be likely to say that was pretty fucking rude you stupid bitch, don't treat me that way. Whereas my wife says nothing and then internalizes the rudeness and pettiness.
Its been worse this year because of the Working Mom battle. All these bitches work, though two of them work part time and one of those from her own home, similar to what my wife does. My wife believes these women feel like they've been betrayed by my wife for leaving the work force and becoming a stay at home mom. What my wife chooses not to publicize is that she still does work, doing her consulting part time and from home. These women believe that all she does is take care of the home and our children.
One of the many bright spots here is that we now carpool with a friend of our's who lives across the alley - he takes our 2 kids to school with his 2 & my wife picks all 4 up after school. They all attend the same school at least for this year. His middle child will be moving to high school next year. Many days, his kids hang out at our house & play or do their homework. He is divorced, but his ex lives literally across the street from him. However, he and his ex are about to remarry other people. To make matters worse, the ex is pregnant and will move to another part of the city. These 2 events are causing his kids some manner of angst, as you can imagine.
The older of the 2 has really began to confide things in my wife. The daughter tends to confide things in my daughter, who then relays them to my wife, when appropriate. Obviously, the more important items are relayed to the father and sometimes the mother. My wife and I speak frequently about how great it is that these young people are comfortable with my wife and she feels like she has 2 additional children sometimes.
Anyway, the point of this post is that I just returned home from some errands with our boys. My wife and daughter are running separate errands and are still away. There was a beautiful bouquet of flowers on our front porch addressed to my wife. The card says "Thank you for loving my children as much as you do. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving." Its signed the ex and the 2 kids. In all the BS we go through with our lives, children and the hassles, rudeness and pettiness other parents, its days like today that make you really see who your friends are. We do not have a close relationship with the ex, but she obviously is a friend of our's who we respect and who respects us probably more so in return. We do love her children not because of her or the father, but because of who they are - they are wonderful, smart and thoughtful children. I'm glad that she recognizes what they mean to my wife and to our family.
To all who read this, take a moment to count your friends and your blessings this holiday season. Take a minute to call a friend or send a bouquet of flowers. Its these little gestures that make us feel alive and bring us closer to our Maker.
